Happiness is..

Happiness is

A cupcake

Happiness is my Mom’s all-encompassing-hugs

Or my father’s appreciation

Happiness is that song you keep humming to yourself all day

Happiness is being silly

It’s A’s lopsided smile

It’s the fuzzies that love gives you

Happiness is a special perfume;

Or the smell of a new book

Or the smell of wet Earth

Happiness is when Feru gets what I’m trying to say by the look in my eyes

Or the shameless PDA between Megha & I

Happiness is knowing that you’re a little crazy

And finding someone just like you
It's in discovering new places
Or a pretty picture

Happiness is in Anisha’s silliness

Or in Archita’s little hearts and flowers

And Parita, when she goes mad
Happiness is in Akanksha's crafty grin, or Shagun marvelling at the softness of my skin
Dhwani's readiness to click pictures and Drishti's perky "Hi!"

and Sakshi Dube's concern for me
Happiness is chilling

It’s defying distance with Tanvi

It’s when Jiggu flicks his hair and calls himself ‘The Jigar’

It’s a long chat with M or meeting Shrutu after ages

And Shruti Anand’s nautanki (yes I miss you)

It is Shivani’s squealing (you too I miss, woman)

Happiness is dancing in the dark

Happiness is just being stupid

Happiness is not caring

About what they think, say or do

Happiness is when I write

Or learn a new language

Happiness is the creation of a new life

It’s in my nephew’s dimples

Or in my sister’s motherhood

Or in my other sister’s unconditional love for children

It’s a heart to heart

It’s in saying the truth

It’s in making bawdy jokes

It’s in catching on slowly

It’s in laughing loudly

It’s in appreciating

It’s in being appreciated

It’s in the sound of the waves

It’s in the air we breathe

It in the Sun that radiates warmth

It’s in the stars that shine down on us

It’s all around us

Happiness is everywhere

We just gotta find it.

The last song.

We may crash and burn sometimes,

Strength is when we pick ourselves up and shake the dust off.

We may burn bridges sometimes,

Moving on is when we blow the ashes off ourselves,

And don’t hesitate in building new ones.

We may hurt and get hurt sometimes,

Growth is when we forgive and let go.

We may be foolish sometimes,

Wisdom is in learning from our mistakes.

We may be silly sometimes;

But what’s life without a little silly?

We may cry our heart out sometimes,

But so what? We’re human.

We may feel defeated sometimes,

Spirit is when we get right back up.

We may wander sometimes,

But not all those who wander are lost.

We may also get lost sometimes,

And that’s okay really, as long as we have fun while we’re at it.

We may fall sometimes,

But love is when we do so with abandon.

We make mistakes sometimes,

But redemption is when we forgive ourselves.

We may find ourselves in darkness sometimes,

But remember,

There is a light that never goes out,

Oh yes, There is a light that never goes out. 

Big city, bright lights.

The city that never sleeps,

The city of Scars and Dreams,

Rapes & Craters,

Anger & Indifference,

26/11 and 13/7,

Footpaths & Signals,

Grief & Ghosts,

The Gateway & The Causeway,

Bollywood & Consumerism,

Razzle Dazzle & Disillusion,

Hawkers & Chaat,

Blasts & Floods,

The shiny sheens & The murky underbellies,

Town & The 'burbs,

Glamour & Dirt,

Love & Hate,

Opportunities & Dejection,

Cheap Chinese & Expensive Italian,

Construction & Con-men,

Resilience & Hunger,

Pretty Girls & Fake Accents,

Demolition & Progress,

British Architecture & Chaos,

Parties & Pedophiles,

Chor & Police,

Love-birds & Monsters,

Marine Drive &  Aqsa Beach,

Groping & BEST,

Local Trains & Perverts,

Mushrooming shanties & Soaring buildings,

Rickshaws & Cabs,

An unbroken spirit & Defeated citizens,

The High Class & The Working Class,

Cuffe Parade & Nallasopara,

Juhu & Wadala,

The Sea Link & Dharavi.

And Bandra.

And the Rains.

And oh yes, the Sea.

You are in Bombay.

Welcome aboard.

Three cheers to Life.

Here’s to the invincible;

Here’s to the defeated.

Here’s to the unborn;

Here’s to the departed.

Here’s to those who have loved and lost;

One for the lonely ones.

Here’s to the punks;

Here’s to the Class Acts.

Hurray to the new mothers;

Alas to the jaded ones.

This is for the strange girl on the train;

Or the Queen Bee in High School.

Two for that Man Who Never Moves,

Three for the Millionaires.

Here’s to the broken dreams;

Here’s to the City That Never Sleeps.

Another for the learning that never ends;

And for the society that never bends.

Here’s to love

New, Young or Old.

Here’s to heartbreaks & reunions;

And three cheers for sweet revenge.

Applause for the Lamborghinis and Padminis;

And to the creator of confectioneries.

Here’s to Chai, Coffee etcetera;

And love for the sand in my shoes.

Here’s to childhood & mysterious bruises;

Here’s to adolescence & mysterious hormones;

Here’s to adulthood & mysterious woes.

Here’s to never growing up.

Here’s to the underdogs, the dark horse;

And the comforting smell of books.

Here’s to words unsaid, the tear that were never shed;

Here’s to stupidity;

‘Nother one for eccentricity.

Here’s to originality;

One for adulation & emulation.

Three cheers to the Beautiful World;

Three cheers to the Cruel One;

Three cheers to Life!

The Mooting Story

The drama. The new places. The Boy Who Stole My Window Seat. Sunrise up high. Mesmerising. The useless researcher. The bossy one. The nice one. The worry. The defeats; the relief. The victories; the surprise.

The alcohol. New people. History, architecture, colours. The smell of Hyderabad. The funny Hindi. Fighting. Crying. Anger. Stress. Grilling. Shopping. Loud people. Cold showers. Indian toilets. Unsanitary conditions. That cute boy. Irrelevant. The warmth of new love. Long conversations. Roaming tariffs.

Bad food. Good food. New food. No food. 

Humongous college. Fancy people. Not so fancy people. The printed hoodies. The short skirt & the valedictory. That boy and his analogies. His stories; with or without morals. A new good friend.

A flight that was almost missed. That cabbie who ripped us off. Rajasthan. Rajasthan is magical. Hawa Mahal. Sweet Lord! Wasted girls. The heartbroken boy. The disappointment at qualifying. The relief of not qualifying. The exhaustion. Black pants, white shirt, uncomfortable shoes.

Secrets shared. Scars revealed. Perfumes exchanged. Lack of sleep. Comfortable journeys. Uncomfortable journeys. So much gossip. Finishing each other’s sentences. That LOUD phone, when it rang.

South Indian Chinese. The bus ride home. Kunda. Atlas. Places in Africa (?). Arguments. Kurkure. Ice cream & old Hindi songs.

The new researcher. An old friend. Rules broken. Jantar Mantar. We no understand. The lazy girl. Sun allergies. Gatte ki Sabzi. A day well spent. The ride uphill. Blow dried hair. So many pictures. The scary army truck. We almost die. The cool fort. The pretty outsides, the degraded insides. Your Lordship? Seniors cursed. Deathly deadlines. “International Magnitude.” Fatigue. Beautiful memories. Lessons learnt. So much love. Friends made. Sometimes strengthened.

But, what happens in a Moot, stays in a Moot.

I am..

Devika Alva, Devika, Devi, Dee, D, Alva.

Am narcissistic and have low self-esteem at the same time.

Love perfumes, cupcakes and books.

Think my chubbiness gets in the way of being taken seriously.

Seriously.

Don’t like loud Hindi Songs but still feel my body sway to the music once in a while

Can’t dance.

For shit.

Am a Bombay Girl, I make stinky city, bad city, crowded city- jokes once in while even though there’s no place I’d rather be.

Except Tahiti, maybe.

Am an absolute Beach Bum.

But also a (Bombay) winter person.

Think the rains are a pain in the ass, but still marvel at the beauty of it.
Sing English songs loudly, in an Indian accent when I'm bored. 
Associate a lot of my self-worth to inanimate objects.

Have learnt a lot of things I know by reading bad literature.

And good literature.

And watching.
Am more clumsy than I'd like to admit.
Am hideously quirky.

Am a closeted Romantic, in spite of the frequent “Ew! You’re so corny.”
Believe that everything you do, comes back to bite you in the ass.
Will make it a point to have a different picture on every web-based public platform.

Have always fantasized about being a Rockstar.

With a bad ass guitar and red streaks in my hair.

Want thinner thighs.

And a smaller ass.

But what I want more, is to be a bad ass lawyer.
Feel stupid about things I did yesterday, today, five minutes ago,
Am told it's called growing up.

Believe the smell of the Sea and the wind in my hair define contentment.
Think it's very unladylike to swear in Hindi.
Swear anyway.

Know where my follies lie, but I’m loathe to fix most of them.

‘Cause let’s face it, whatever they are, they make me fabulous.

Also because I believe, those who love me, love me anyway.

Am very politically incorrect.
Think I have MASSIVE palms.

Cry too easy.

Think too much.

Wince when I hear somebody say anywayS.

Itch to correct even random strangers when they’re grammatically incorrect.

Did not up until now have the courage to write on a public platform.

Need the occasional nod of encouragement,

Sometimes it needs to be a hoot, a push, even a shove.

Tend to yap about myself.

Very often.

Evidently.

Should stop.

Okay seriously.

Science & Faith

Science & Faith.

“Science does not know its debt to imagination. 
-Ralph Waldo Emerson ”

It’s the paradox of our times. Two completely contradictory ideas coexisting seamlessly and at times overlapping in a confusing fashion. The Oxford Dictionary has gone on to define Science as “the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment” further Faith is “complete trust or confidence in someone or something; strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof”
As the cliché goes it’s all easier said than done in theory. While in practice, how do you explain Faith, for that matter how do you explain Science? Where do we draw the line? How do we distinguish? Ions have passed as preachers and propagators of the two have debated and deliberated.
While Faith is belief, Science is conviction. Science is calculation, Faith is surrender. Science is cause & effect while Faith is prayer & blessing. Science is experiments, Faith is devotion. Science is in the formulae, Faith is in the trust. Science is concrete, Faith is abstract. Science is technology, Faith is evolution. Science is the desire for proof, Faith is awe. Science is equipment & investigation while Faith is simply stopping & staring.

People may have faith for various reasons. It maybe because Science pointed them in that direction for some, while for a majority it is something personal; a prayer here and there; a person who renews your beliefs; maybe it’s the rugged beauty of mountains and lakes; maybe it’s the raw power of the wilderness; an incident that has no logical explanation whatsoever; there’s plenty of possibilities.

A neurologist studying a particular sensory experience understands the neural mechanism but not how the individual perceives it, and he becomes interested in the workings of consciousness. Or a developmental biologist is expecting her first child, and suddenly embryology takes on a whole new meaning.

A scientist may keep trying to get an experiment right. Failing but still trying over and over until he gets it, but what keeps him motivated? Unerring faith. Faith that he will succeed. Faith that he can do it.

Day in and day out doctors see people defying Science. Living against all odds. The exceptions to the rule. The Miracles. Surviving on sheer will and determination. Ever wondered what kept them going? Prayer. People have faith even without knowing they do, they have Faith that there will be a tomorrow, they have faith that tomorrow will be a better day. Even the most empirical of minds have their own system of belief.

Those stars up in the sky, they might be luminous spheres of plasma held together by gravity but what about the awe they generate when one looks up at them. The mysterious and ethereal beauty of it all, how those heavenly bodies up there continue to be a source of inspiration for millions around the planet by just existing in all their astronomical glory never fails to amaze me.  It doesn’t stop at amazement though, there’s this sense of wonder and of connection with something unexplainable.

How about evolution? Evolution is the science of how we came to be. Although there exist many sound explanations for the most part of it, genetics, DNA, proteins, codes, so on and so forth, but how do we explain how man became what he is today when he started off as an ape.

Faith is when we come out of ourselves and experience something else that gives us perspective. It’s the humility we feel in the face of vastness and power of Nature; it’s gratitude that we are alive; it’s when we feel powerless and broken, yet undefeated; it’s the warm glow of love; it’s the glory of a victory well-deserved; it’s in the adoration of a mother; it’s when we recognize that there is a world beyond the one that we have created for ourselves.

If Science is the body, Faith is the soul.

If Science is the mind, Faith is the heart.

So coming back to where we started from, where do we draw the line?

The answer is simple.

We don’t.

Sometimes we just ought to ought to surrender. Completely. Absolutely. Wholeheartedly.

Sometimes we just ought to accept, that both Science and Faith are omnipresent, so different yet so beautifully intertwined.

At the end of the day we may be able to break everything down to chemicals but there are some things you just can not explain.

“Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof. 
-Khalil Gibran”

Happy Birthday Megha Diddi.

On the brink of my grand 19th (no, no, grand, I insist) I got the heebie-jeebies and immediately dumped it on one of my oh-so-understanding ladies.

Here's what she told me, in a series of frantic texts, soon after I joined in.

Due to our sheer brilliance (yes, I insist again), it has seemingly turned blog-worthy.

On the brink of your 19th I'm telling you the same:

"You're a dreamer

You're a Wonder Woman lover
You're afraid, a little bit ecstatic- You are on the brink of 'Now'

The World Is Your Oyster begins now
'Cause
You have lesser boundaries, more opportunities;
A little more good sense, yet enough impulse.
Now is here.
Now is finding out about teaching, about Art, History, Applied Economics & Torts, Transcendental Music and that concert you attended last night.
Shady food stalls & of course Love- Who could ever forget, the Heart, Heartbreak, with kissing- lots of it.
Failure, disappointment, sadness.
Now is where you stretch yourself
Taste the sky & fall back down- Knowing someone out there will catch you,
So let go slowly, catch on quickly.

Now is the wind in your hair,
The taste of it at the tip of your tongue,
The waves at your toes.
Now is recklessness, Now is responsibility.
Now is cupcakes, Now is weight loss,
Sweet Holidays & friends made,
Grouses forgotten & letting go,
Bonds forged & Bridges burnt,
Now is jumping without thinking,
Getting bruised & healing,
Now is Love.
Now is Life.
Now is your gift to you.
And Life is Now."

Happy Birthday my psycho lady.

I love you to death. Yours Always, 

Dee

XOXO

An open letter to all the single ladies.

Dear Little One,

You’ll find him too.

He who makes you smile

The one who brings you joy

He who plays with your hair

And hugs you when the time is right.

Sweet Little One,

He’ll be there for you,

With Cupcakes and Macaroons and Dal Dhokli and what not.

He’ll make it right, he’ll make it all go away,

The pain and the tears and the regrets,

They will fade away.

Hey Little One!

Who’re you crying about?

He doesn’t deserve you,

When the time is right, you’ll find one too;

One who smells nice,

One who makes your heart flutter and your body buzz.

Not someone who doesn’t look at you twice.

Oh My Little One,

Trust me when I tell you,

You deserve better than that,

You deserve the best,

And you’ll find him too.

‘Cause nobody ought to be alone.

There Little One,

This is just for you,

So if none of this works out,

I’ll always love you.

P. S. This is for you Anisha, since you bull-dozed me into it, it's only fair if the first post is for you.   

XOXO.